Film: Blue Like Jazz
Director: Steve Taylor
Writer: Donald Miller
PG
POPCORNS: 3
I ran into actor Marshall Allman recently and had a quick chat about his work on the film Blue Like Jazz.
The film is an adaption of the hugely successful, New York Times best-seller novel of the same name. Its main themes are more about life than they are about religion and the church. It is more about people than it is about saving them.
I want to talk more about what I walked away with after watching Blue Like Jazz rather than the actual film.
Like the lead character, Don Miller (author of the book/writer of the script), I too have entered a spiritual desert after being a Christian for almost 20 years. I came to God at 18 after an offer of healing and salvation. All I wanted was to be loved, and the offer presented to me seemed honest enough, although deep down, I do not think I really wanted to change who I was.
And that’s how I saw God – and Jesus – as a crucible of change. A conduit of being forced to become someone else. After a time, reading the Bible, going to a church, nothing really felt like it fit. I didn’t ever feel like it actually belonged even though I was told constantly I did. Even though people said they loved me, that Jesus loved me.
Perhaps I didn’t really know who I was to become, or who I wanted to be. The choices I made in life became based solely on the advice and wisdom of others, and then the choices became based on what I believed others would want me to do. The only choice I made for myself, was to marry the love of my life. THAT I knew for sure was the right thing and what I knew I wanted.
Like Don, I too left the safety of church. Although set in the bible belt of the US , Texas
You get the idea.
I had been in church for such a long time that when I left (we moved to another part of the state and did not find another church), I had the opportunity to stand on the outside and see for myself what it was really like.
I have to say that, not only is my faith changed, but my whole perspective on Christianity is too.
I don’t want to be a Christian. That’s what it boils down too. The last ten minutes of BLJ is that slap in the face that the whole film alludes too. Don didn’t want to be a Christian either.
Like a simple conversation, the films main theme of acceptance unravels as Don experiences “life” in excess as he runs from the realities of real life. The reality he runs from is that life sucks no matter if you are a Christian or if you are not. It’s actually shit.
Yet, in all the running, Don comes to discover that no matter how far or fast he runs, not matter where he is, God always seems to show up, and in the most strangest of places.
Don’s monologue at the end of the film is what captured my attention. Don admits he is a Christian and was so ashamed of Jesus that he chose not to be so, that he could “fit in” and be “accepted”. Ironic, considering the whole idea of religion, church and Christianity is to prove that you do fit in (you just have to meet all the rules, regulations and pay your tithes to be part of the family).
Standing on the outside of church, I now see how I was seen. How people view Christians and how they view the church. I think I always had a sense of it anyway and rarely would I mention my faith in God in passing, but after the last few years, I cannot deny that the determined, systematic isolation and judgement of some people has left me ashamed.
And I don’t feel that I can speak about it because I don’t want to be judged. I’ve had enough of that in my life. I got rid of everything that made me who I was, based on the idea that if I loved something else more than God, I was living a life of sin. I lost my dreams and passions, stopped doing everything I loved and got rid of everything I thought represented this supposed sin; all because someone judged me. All because I wanted acceptance more than I wanted anything else.
Funny how it works the same on either side of the Church wall.
So now I look at the ethical, moral issues plaguing society today and watch as people espouse their religious vitriol and man-made opinions upon a minority. I can’t believe that I was once part of that. Can’t believe that I was one of those who would judge another’s actions to prove a point. Judge a non-Christian in an attempt to lead them to the light.
Like Don, I too am ashamed. I am ashamed of Jesus. Ashamed of the church and ashamed to say I was once like those who I now judge for judging.
I stay away from anything that remotely looks like God and church, yet, by chance, a young actor who’s work I appreciate decided that he would take up the lead role in a film about a book I read and loved as a young Christian.
Because he took up this role, I took up the book again. Because he took the role in this film made only by donations of passionate people, I got to meet and chat with him personally about his own experiences.
The film left me challenged – its intention – and has asked a number of questions that I need to answer.
Its funny where God meets you.
If you get the chance, see Blue Like Jazz. See it to see that no matter if you have faith or don’t, life can be shitty and the challenge for acceptance is universal.
